Coming Out: Ways to Find Out if My Wife Is A Lesbian

By Last Updated: October 7th, 2023Categories: Catch Cheater

The sexual liberation of the last decade has enabled thousands of people to finally embrace their sexualities and come out of the closet.

This might be great for the people who finally get to embrace who they really are, but what happens if it is your husband or wife that is a homosexual? In an ideal scenario, there is an amicable separation. But this is not always the case. Many wives that are also closeted lesbians (This is mainly a female issue as women are more often forced to suppress their sexuality), decide to stay in the closet and instead create illicit affairs.

Imagine the horror of finding out your wife was cheating on you in plain sight, telling you she was out with her female friends. You would never suspect a thing! This is why we have found the best ways to find out if your wife is a lesbian.

Part 1: Common Signs That Will Show You if Your Wife Is a Lesbian

Let us get something out of the way first. This is not an 80s medical journal where we will claim that women who smoke or wear trousers are lesbians. Those beliefs are, at best, outdated. Instead, we will focus on all those signs that will show you there is something wrong in your marriage.

No.1 Sign for a lesbian wife: Coldness

Your wife is cold, or even aggressive towards you, picking up fights at the slightest provocation. Obviously, such behavior is not directly linked to cheating and you should not instantly start suspecting your wife of having an affair, let alone a lesbian one. However, you should, at least, make sure to try to talk things out, or even seek professional help.

Wife Lesbian Angry Wife

No.2 Sign for a lesbian wife: Disinterest

Your wife is completely disinterested in having any kind of relations with you, sexual or otherwise. It is almost expected to see the spark in a relationship die out a bit as the years go by, but complete disinterest should worry you. Once again, it is not directly linked to cheating, but cheating is a possible reason for it.

No.3 Sign for a lesbian wife: Regular outings

Your wife is going out with friends way too often. It is always good for someone to have friends, and you should encourage your wife to have her own friends and socialize. But there is a point after which, you should start worrying that your wife is hiding something from you, or that she doesn’t like your company.

Wife Lesbian Going Out

No.4 Sign for a lesbian wife: Secrets

Your wife has secrets. All people have a need for privacy. However, there is privacy and there is secretiveness. If your wife is showing signs of the latter, hiding things from you, and keeping her phone locked at all times, you should think about having a serious talk with her.

No.5 Sign for a lesbian wife: Pornography

Your wife watches pornography. Pornography is increasingly available in our times and people who consume it do so because there is something they are not getting from their relationships. If you find out that your wife is visiting adult sites or something of the sort, you should confront her.

Part 2: How to Find out for Certain if Your Wife is a Lesbian

As we said above, there are no signs to tell you that your wife is a lesbian. Nothing differentiates a homosexual from a straight person other than their sexuality. Thus, it would be impossible to try and figure out something as personal about your wife just from how she looks or behaves.

However, while conventional means might fail you, there is a method that will not.


mSpy Phone Tracker

Track Android phone & tablet, iPhone & iPad remotely and secretly! Everything is visible to you!

  • Read all social media apps, FB, IG, WhatsApp, Snapchat
  • View SMS/IMs, call logs, contacts, emails, browser history

mSpy will let you know for sure if your wife is a lesbian or if she is cheating on you by granting you access to all her private information. But let us be a little more precise about why we prefer it.

Ease of use and 24/7 Monitoring

It is very easy to install and use. In fact, as soon as you subscribe, someone from mSpy will send you an email with detailed instructions on how to use the app and will even walk you through the whole process of installing it on your wife’s phone.

It works 24/7 for you. Not only will it let you monitor things whenever you want, but you can also set up notifications like mSpy’s keyword alert that will let you know if your wife types a specific word on her phone.

Live Monitoring

With mSpy you can see in real time what your wife is looking at on her phone whenever you want. All you have to do is use the screenrecorder feature. What is more, you can even download those recordings to watch later or even use them as evidence to confront her.

mSpy Screen Record Lesbian Wife

Full-Text Monitoring

Lesbian wives would probably prefer messaging over calling as it is a more discreet method of communicating with their lovers. mSpy is extremely good at keeping track of all those text threads both on your wife’s phone and all her social media accounts! And that includes Tinder and Grindr.

mSpy Social Media Lesbian Wife

You can even block her access to those apps that you find disagreeable or ones that should tip you off as to your wife’s sexual orientation like HER.

Web Monitoring

Remember what we said about pornography? With mSpy you can monitor every website your wife visits. And not just pornography, mind you. There are several dating sites geared towards matching lesbians for quick hookups or even something more serious.


mSpy Phone Tracker

Track Android phone & tablet, iPhone & iPad remotely and secretly! Everything is visible to you!

  • Read all social media apps, FB, IG, WhatsApp, Snapchat
  • View SMS/IMs, call logs, contacts, emails, browser history


Having a wife that is a closeted lesbian can be quite the predicament. She could be having an affair and you would be none the wiser about the whole deal since all you would hear is that she is going out with her female friends. Thankfully, there are ways to find out if your wife is a closeted lesbian and avoid being made a fool.

Frequently Asked Questions

Lesbianism is a sexual orientation whereas being non-binary has to do with how you identify in terms of gender. Non-binary people posit that gender identities are not restricted to the male-female binary, rather exist in a spectrum.

No, lesbians are exclusively homosexual, meaning that they are attracted only to other people who identify as female. Bisexual people are attracted to or prefer people of both genders.