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Is My Husband Gay? How To Find Out If He’s In The Closet

By Last Updated: August 15th, 2022Categories: Catch Cheater

“My partner appears to be avoiding sex, he says he needs to be in the headspace and if he’s not, then we don’t have sex. I’ve never had a partner turn me down, could he be gay?”

This question we found on Quora recently can also be found in its thousands of possible iterations on as many forums and websites.

But Why?

Until very recently, homosexuality has carried a large stigma. Gay people had to face bullying, exclusion, and even violence. This has forced many homosexuals to repress their sexuality. Some also get into marriages, just to be accepted.

Obviously, such marriages are a recipe for disaster. Men forced into such situations will soon start avoiding sex, and even resent their wife.

Are you also in a situation where your husband is neglecting his “marital duties”? If you want to find out whether he is gay, you’ve come to the right place. We have just the way to answer your question.

Part 1: Signs your Husband Is in the Closet

Let’s get one thing straight; all the things that you think would help you tell a gay man apart from a straight one are just stereotypes created by the show business for comedic purposes. Thus, you shouldn’t expect to figure out if your husband is gay from how he moves, or talks.

However, there are some other things to look out for.

  • Your husband is distant or cold. This is especially worrisome if he’s avoiding sex.
  • He spends too much time with the guys. Having friends is good. But it doesn’t mean that he should ignore you for them.
  • He has so many hobbies he ignores you. It is normal for someone to have hobbies. However, things are different if he prefers golf to time with his wife.
  • He avoids sex. It is true that age reduces the male libido. Also, there is stress and even disease. Barring an illness, though, complete abstinence is worrying.

These are all signs that should worry you. If not a sign of homosexuality, they are definitely a sign that he is not that honest.

Part 2: How to Tell if your Husband is Gay

As we said before, there is nothing a gay man would do differently solely due to his sexual orientation. Nothing other than his sexual preferences. People don’t go around with their sexual preferences clearly written on their foreheads, and you cannot read their minds.

But with mSpy you can read their messages and tens of other things!

Use mSpy To Find Out If Your Husband Is Gay

mSpy is the only way to find out if your husband is gay for good. No wild guesses based on how much fruit he eats or what films he likes.

And how does mSpy do that? With hard proof, of course!

mSpy is the best at helping you monitor messages and iMessage, including photos and other media that you can view and even download. That way, you can see if your husband is exchanging weird texts with other men.

But it doesn’t stop there! With mSpy you also get access to social media chats, including the one app any gay person looking for a hookup would use; Tinder.

mSpy Social Media Is Husband Gay

Want more? How about being able to check the apps on your husband’s phone? What better evidence to verify that he is gay than finding an App like Grindr on his phone.

mSpy Apps Is Husband Gay

Or, worse still, that he is watching gay pornography. With mSpy’s web monitoring features, you’ll know exactly what your husband is doing while on his phone.

And if you are really suspicious, you can also use mSpy’s GPS tracker to track your husband’s every movement and see if he is visiting gay bars.

mSpy GPS Is Husband Gay

And these are only a part of what mSpy can do for you!

With it, you can also monitor your husband’s screen in real time, see what he is typing with the keylogger (that includes deleted messages), and even set up alerts both for when he uses certain keywords and for when he goes to a specific place.

So, what are you waiting for? See if your husband is gay with mSpy now!

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Part 3: What To Do when your husband is/is not Gay

Okay, so you heard us, downloaded mSpy, and now have some evidence on your hands.

Depending on the kind of things you saw, you might be at a loss, furious, or even relieved. We won’t leave you like this. Let’s see what you can do in each possible scenario.

Case 1: Husband Is Not Gay

Let’s start with the best scenario. The one where you find nothing.

This doesn’t change the fact that he is not having sex with you. So, what is going on?

It is only natural for the spark that once fueled wild sexual escapades to fade as time goes by. Work, kids, everyday life; everything contributes to you getting in this position. But you shouldn’t leave it at that. There are some things you can try out to rekindle the spark you had with your husband.

Here are some:

  • Take time off to spend together. Romantic dinners, watching a movie together. Keep it exciting but simple.
  • Go on a holiday. If you have the money and time to spare, a few days on an island will definitely bring you back together under the sheets.
  • Read up. There are thousands of articles you can consult on what to do in bed to get your husband’s juices flowing. Get a bit creative.
  • Go to a counselor. If nothing else works, you can go to a specialist. Sometimes, the cause is something deeper.

Case 2: He is Cheating

The fact that he is not bedding a man, though, doesn’t mean that he is bedding noone. He might not be having sex with you because he is already getting that from someone else. And if you find out that your husband is cheating on you, you may rightly be furious.

But here is some advice on what to do next.

  • Keep calm. Take your time to collect some more evidence.
  • If you want to get a divorce, make sure you consult a lawyer. Not all the evidence you have collected can be used in court.
  • Confront your husband in a calm manner and see how you want to proceed.
Cheating Husband Is Husband Gay

Case 3: Husband Is Gay

If your husband is gay, there are several routes you can take. It is not our place to tell you what to do with such a revelation, but there are still some things that we should cover.

  • You should make sure to have a serious talk with your husband. Try to understand the situation he is in and how he feels about it.
  • See what you want to do from that point. Life goes on, but there are definitely some things you need to think about before you make any hasty decisions. You may have children together, family, assets.
  • Be kind. We cannot stress this enough. Your husband is as much the victim in this situation as you are. Being closeted is a very stressful situation and repressing his sexuality may have left your husband with trauma. Try to be supportive and find a solution together.


In this article, we have shown you how to answer the one question that many women have been asking themselves ever since the beginning of the sexual liberation of the past decades; is my husband gay? Equally, married women find themselves coming out of the closet.

In any case, as stressful as the situation may be, there is nothing that cannot be resolved if you work together as a couple.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the closeted man signs that prove your husband is gay?2022-03-29T14:59:05+00:00

Here are some signs that could mean your husband is gay.

  • He is extremely homophobic. This sounds a bit counterintuitive, but it is true. Gay men will often try to appear extremely homophobic so as to throw others off. The more conservative the community, the more homophobic he’ll be.
  • He watches gay porn.
  • He is talking to men on the phone. Not just friends or coworkers. We are talking about hours on the phone with men you don’t know.
  • He spends too much time with just one man. We all have best friends. However, you should be concerned if your man spends too much time alone with another man.
  • He is not interested in sex. Unless there is another issue for that, lack of sexual interest should concern you.
Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?2022-03-29T14:31:00+00:00

What you are probably experiencing is called “being led on”. The person you are with has you as his “backup”. A person to fall back on when he has a falling out with his girlfriend. Or you are just a person he wants to have casual sex with on the side.
If your situation is a cause for concern, it probably means that you should get away from that person, sooner rather than later.

Why is my boyfriend not sexually interested in me?2022-03-29T14:29:36+00:00

Lack of sexual interest might be a sign of several things. He could simply be tired, or even sad and stressed from work. It could be something more serious like depression, or your boyfriend may have realised he prefers men to women. Whatever the case, the only person that can tell you is your boyfriend himself.