Is It Normal for My Boyfriend to Hit Me –Things You Need to Know

By Last Updated: January 12th, 2023Categories: Relationship Counseling, Teen Issue

“I don’t understand it! Why does my boyfriend hit me whenever we get into an argument? Does he love me?”

Some boys are wolves in sheeps’ clothing. They act nice when courting you and getting your trust, but when you finally say yes, you’d see that their true colors are far darker than you can imagine. How can a guy who knelt and promised to love you yell at you, let alone physically hit you for no reason at all?

And even if he has a compelling reason to do it, you may be asking yourself: Is it normal for my boyfriend to hit me? Let us help you with that.

In this article, we will discuss the possible reasons why your boyfriend hits you and whether or not it is a normal thing. We’ll also give you suggestions on what to do when it happens. Read on!

Part 1: Why Does My Boyfriend Hit Me

If everything happens for a reason, then your boyfriend must have one to lay a hand on you. Knowing the possible reasons can help you identify the cause of the problem and how to deal with it. Below are some of the painful reasons why your boyfriend hits you:

Your Boyfriend Hits You because He Loves Being in Control

Some guys have a strong tendency to be controlling and manipulative. And when they think that their grip on you is loosening up, they’d start to hit you because they want you to know their superiority.

Manipulative Boyfriend

So, if your boyfriend suddenly hits you when you do something on your own, that’s a sign that he doesn’t want you to make your own decisions. He wants you to always ask him for permission. This could happen whenever you want to hang out with your friends or family without him.

Your Boyfriend Hits You because he knows You’d Forgive Him Anyway

More often than not, your boyfriend does not only abuse you physically, but emotionally as well. He knows that you’re badly in love with him, and he weaponizes that to take advantage of you. Consequently, he no longer cares if he hits you, because he knows your defenses will crumble in seconds with his kisses and hugs.

This leaves you confused on what to do. Because whenever you bring up the topic of him hitting you, he’d just apologize for it and deceive you with sweet gestures. He might even promise you it won’t happen again. And the saddest thing is when the hitting happens over and over again, you’d just ignore it because you’ve been gaslighted that it’s normal.

Your Boyfriend Hits You because He’s Lowkey Misogynist

Your boyfriend loves you, but he might be a misogynist, too. A misogynist is someone who despises and is strongly against women. You will notice this side of him if he often hits you when you seem happy or when you’ve accomplished something he can’t.

Misogynist Boyfriend

Yes! His ego and pride as a man get hurt whenever you tell him that you did great at school or got promoted at work. That’s a major red flag right there. Instead of supporting you even more, he just lays a hand on you to make you feel bad about your achievement.

This is also true when you’re having an argument with him, and your side of the story makes more sense than his. He’d feel like you’re just a woman, and it’s not right for you to be reasonable.

He may also be a misogynist if he doesn’t respect your rights to refuse as a woman. He hits you whenever you defy him because you don’t want to hangout with him or even sleep with him.

Your Boyfriend Hits You because He Thinks You’d Blame Yourself for It

Your boyfriend will blame you why you got hit, and when it always happens, you’d develop a sense that it’s always your fault. He will have a laundry list of reasons to manipulate you into thinking you are to blame.

He may say that he got jealous because you talked to a man he doesn’t know or he got irritated by the way you talk when you argue. And there’s a lot of nasty things he’d throw at you to make you think that you are the root cause of the problem. In effect, you’d think that you deserve to be hit, giving him more power to abuse you.

Your Boyfriend Hits You because You’re Too Aggressive

Sometimes, you have to look into the mirror and ask the question. Are you being too aggressive on your boyfriend? To the point where you’ve disrespected his decisions, family, friends, and even the things he likes to do? Well, if the answer is yes, then your attitude toward him is the trigger.

You see, some guys don’t like being overpowered, especially through aggression. They get defensive when you tell them how you feel. They’d find a way to fight back, and before they realize it, they’ve already hit you. You have to know that constantly being aggressive like yelling, shouting, or even being physical with your boyfriend is a kind of abuse. You need to stop it before it gets even worse.

These are only a few of the many possible reasons why he hits you, but none of them can ever suffice and justify the abuse.

Part 2: Is it Normal for My Boyfriend to Hit Me

Your boyfriend hitting you is domestic violence itself. And it’s not normal at all. In fact, many countries and states consider it illegal. Anyone who commits such an act can be imprisoned for years, depending on the laws on your land.

You may find that your boyfriend has some reasons to hit you, but no matter how convincing they are, it’s not normal. And it never will be. Even if it only happened once, you should never tolerate and ignore such vicious treatment.

We are in a modern society now where the rights of men and women are equal, as they should. So, your boyfriend has no right to physically abuse you just because he’s upset or anything.

Crying Girlfriend

No amount of reasoning can ever justify hurting the ones you love. If you’ve been physically abused for some time, you may think that your boyfriend hitting you is normal. Don’t blame yourself for that; it’s a natural reaction for being too used to it.

It may be difficult to choose between yourself and the person you love sometimes. But you should know when enough is enough. You’re not anyone’s punching bag.

Part 3: What to Do when Your Boyfriend Hits You

Now, if your boyfriend’s hitting has become too much to handle, you have to act right away. Don’t let him normalize that barbaric attitude toward you. Here are the things you can do to stop such madness:

  • Call your parents – If you are shaking and don’t know what to do after being hit, call your parents ASAP. They can help you or even rescue you if things go out of hand. You may also inform your boyfriend’s parents about the issue.

  • Call the authorities – Now, if your parents are out of reach and your boyfriend has become extremely violent toward you, call the cops. Try to find a way to get help. You may ask the neighbors to do it for you or anyone around.

  • Ask your friends for help – What are friends for? In case you’re far away from your parents, you may try contacting your trusted friends nearby. They can also help you contact proper authorities.
  • Break up with your boyfriend – There’s no point in staying together if he’s hitting on you from time to time. Free yourself from that cycle before it gets even worse.

  • Talk to him about getting help – Convince him that he needs to go see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed mental disorders or illnesses.This only applies if the trigger why he’s suddenly hitting you is due to mental instability. He may have mental health issues he needs to fix.

  • Visit a therapist or counselor – You need emotional support. Physical abuse affects people’s emotional, mental, and psychological well-being, too. You may not notice it right away, but the negative effects will show over time. You might get anxious, depressed, or worse. Get help for yourself, too

Part 4: Does Your Boyfriend Love You if He Hits You

He may be genuinely in love with you, but is it true love? True love means you’re also ready to provide security to your partner. You won’t harm them no matter how angry or frustrated you get through the course of the relationship. You will find a way to peacefully resolve issues without resorting to violence. You see, a true and loving boyfriend will never hit the girl he loves. You may wonder how a guy truly feels when he hurts a his girl.

Final Thoughts

Being hit by no less than your boyfriend is one of the most heartbreaking things to experience in a relationship. And you shouldn’t ignore it. It’s not normal even for people not your boyfriend to hit others.

It’s especially alarming if such an incident happens multiple times. You should act immediately and do whatever it takes to be free from such violence. His being your boyfriend is not a ticket to hurt you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Yes, you can! In most countries, there are laws that actively protect women against violence from their partners. And generally speaking, physical abuse now is considered a criminal offense. If your boyfriend has been hitting you, talking to your local lawyer and filing a case would help put him in his place. Just make sure that you gather as much evidence as you can.

Yes! According to recent studies, women are more prone to physical abuse in relationships. And women in the age group of 18-24 are the most vulnerable to hitting and other physical assaults by their partners.