How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship & Work Things Out

By Last Updated: October 13th, 2023Categories: Spy Social App

Are you dating an overthinker? I bet you’re here because you wanted to know how to stop overthinking in a relationship. As well as how to deal with an overthinker.

Here’s what a friend of mine always says to her husband working in another state;

Oh, you’re going to work again to see your other woman. I told you, I want you to resign from work!

This is always the cause of their quarrel and unhappiness. She told me of her husband’s latest reply;

We already have four kids and you know I’m not guilty of infidelity. In spite of the fact that my salary is four-folds of yours, of buying a nice house in a safe neighborhood and of everything I provided, I never saw you being happy. I don’t know what to do anymore…

If you have the same plight as my friend’s husband, what should you do to keep afloat? How to stop overthinking in a relationship?

What Overthinkers Do

Before we talk about how to deal with an overthinker, let’s learn what overthinking in a relationship can do.


An overthinker always does Assume/Presume. Whether you like it or not, this can draw a lot of bad scenarios. So it’s a challenge to implement the No. 1 rule, “Do not assume/presume.” Ask and talk nicely to clarify things.

Negative Thinker

Overthinkers always focus on negative thoughts that linger in their wide and imaginative mind. They have a hard time doing stuff or keeping a positive outlook in a relationship. Helping them solve the problem is better than telling them, “It will be fine!”

Dating An Overthinker

Fearful of Being Cheated

If they’ve been cheated before, trusting their new partner is very difficult. They always fear the current relationship will end up the same. And this is tough to undo. Want to forget the pain of the past yet think that the present partner will also cheat sooner or later. That’s mental torture. And the time to heal is indefinite.


They tend to be obsessed with finding proof of a cheating spouse or betrayal rather than waiting for it to unravel on its own. They won’t rest day and night looking for evidence resulting in unending fights. Both of you will end up hurting each other if not fixed wisely.

Bitter Interpreter

With an overthinker, your negligence matters a lot. Forgetting to reply to their message or calling them on time automatically means you don’t like or love him/her anymore. And it wouldn’t be any good if he/she won’t listen to any of your explanations. Or if his/her mind is already closed.


An overthinker can also be manipulative. They are full of jealousy and insecurities. Making it harder to live a happy and fulfilling life. You would hesitate to go out with your team on TGIFs or join a team-building activity.


Evidently, there are trust issues. Even if you keep on reassuring him/her, he/she still won’t trust you. Your acts of love or tiny lapses mean relatively gloom. The timeframe of gaining his/her trust is gradual but uncertain.


The lack of proper communication also worsens the situation if you have an overthinking partner. If your partner won’t open up or cooperate, he/she will take your word and action differently. It’s like saying ABC and he/she analyzes it as XYZ.

To sum it all up, overthinking causes anxiety and unhappiness. Patience is a virtue – they say. But sometimes, loving an overthinker for years can be draining.

How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship? – Here’s Some Advice

Try to apply these helpful solutions on how to stop overthinking in a relationship.

Always Give Assurance

Show your overthinking partner how sincere you are in words and in deeds. Tell him/her more often that you love him/her. And that you’ll always be with him/her no matter what.

Knowledge is Power

Read materials regarding cognitive distortions. This can give you a deeper understanding of how your overthinking partner perceives reality. You don’t need to muster it all. An overview of how an overthinker behaves can help you know what must be done. And learn the Dos and Don’ts.

Plan a Stress Reliever Activity

Help him/her do stress-relieving stuff such as singing or yoga exercising. You can work together to plan a weekly activity. Talk to each other and discover the things he/she would like to do in order to divert his/her attention away from negativity.

Do Acceptable PDAs

Do Acceptable PDAs

Try your best to show your partner how much you love him/her as if it’s your last day to do so. Do this like all the negative thoughts your partner has never existed. Know the acceptable way of public display of affections with respect so it won’t be awkward. As the saying goes; “Action speaks louder than words.”

Let The Bygones Be Bygones

As much as you can, teach your overthinking partner to learn to forget the past. Slowly and patiently. Especially about previous betrayal relationships. Try to condition his/her mind that this time, it’s a different story. Let him/her see things as a new beginning.

Have a Life

Both of you should live a life. Help him/her realize that there’s nothing to be jealous of. As much as possible, don’t let him/her manipulate your daily life and activities. Only you can determine your limitations because you know your partner well. So show your overthinking partner that you won’t do anything that can stain his/her trust.

Open Communication

Since lack of communication makes things worse, do the reverse. Open communication can help both of you fully understand each other. So when one says 1-2-3, the overthinking partner will then comprehend it correctly. Meaning, when a partner says I’m not fine, the other will know what to do to make things better.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

The two of you, as a couple, may also agree to seek professional help from a marriage and family therapist or spiritual counselor. Their advice is all useful to deal with overthinking in a relationship. Some people will get the wrong idea if you bring them to doctors, so it’s preferable if you explain it to your partner well.

Tip: Let an Overthinker Track your Phone Activities

For your partner’s peace of mind, it might also help if you let him/her install a phone tracker and monitoring app on your device. An example of a reliable spy app is mSpy. It’s safe, secure, and easy to use. This way, he/she won’t think that you’re cheating or lying. This can also be one way how to stop overthinking in a relationship.


mSpy Phone Tracker

Track Android phone & tablet, iPhone & iPad remotely and secretly! Everything is visible to you!

  • Read all social media apps, FB, IG, WhatsApp, Snapchat
  • View SMS/IMs, call logs, contacts, emails, browser history
  • Screenrecorder: To keep your overthinking partner updated on your phone activities, mSpy Screenrecorder records your phone screen secretly. Since you have nothing to hide, let him/her see all of your social affairs.
  • Text Messages: mSpy can track and read your text messages. An overthinking partner can read them and view the contact details.
  • Call Log – Your overthinking partner can also check all of your call history such as incoming, outgoing, and missed calls. He/she can see the duration and all other details remotely.
  • Social Networks: If the above mentioned aren’t enough, allow your partner to check every conversation in your Social Media apps. Giving him/her the assurance that you aren’t cheating in whatsoever manner.
  • GPS Tracker: To track your every movement, mSpy’s built-in GPS tracker is the best to do the job. She can sleuth your exact location on a map without physically stalking you.

mSpy Keylogger is also very special in the way that it can recover deleted text messages. It also has Keywords Alert, Geofence Alert, and more for complete monitoring features. Whatever your overthinking partner needs, mSpy can give it to him/her.

Final Words

Love conquers all. If you love each other, you can overcome many obstacles along the way, even overthinking. Its level of difficulty is higher. But choose to be happy by helping your partner deal with it. Here are the most practical ways how to stop overthinking in a relationship. You may opt to consider these to save your relationship or marriage. The process is indefinitely long, but you’ll get there eventually.

Frequently Asked Questions

To love an overthinker means a lot of patience and self-control. Don’t tell him/her to stop overthinking all the time. Just reassure him/her that you love him/her. Never say or promise anything you don’t intend to do so. And you must also be a good communicator. Gain his/her trust through your words and actions. Therefore, to love an overthinker needs sacrifice and lots of adjustments.

Never say these to an overthinker.

  1. You think way too much! Just stop overthinking!
  2. You’re making that very little stuff a big deal. It wasn’t even that important.
  3. Forget it! Let’s not talk about it anymore.
  4. You’re afraid of things that aren’t real. It’s all in your mind.