The Complete Guide: How to Confront A Cheating Spouse

By Last Updated: April 26th, 2023Categories: Catch Cheater

We can all feel it: the one who sleeps next to us is cheating. Their suspicious tones and behaviors are telling us that our partner is not being loyal to us.

Should we just back off and remain silent? No, we should not. Instead, we need to be brave and stand against cheating husbands or wives. Confront them, question them, and find the truth.

If you’ve made up your mind and plan to confront your cheating spouse, don’t lose your head. Clam down and be well-prepared. Check on the tips below and arm yourself. God bless.

Preparation: Before Confronting A Cheating Spouse

If you are pretty sure that your husband or wife is cheating on you, the very first thing is to keep calm. Don’t think about running to him/her and question your spouse when you have zero preparation.

Most cheaters have prepared perfect excuses. Once they get questioned by their partner, cheaters can easily fool and convince the partner that it’s a misunderstanding whatsoever.

Signs and Characteristics of A Cheating Woman

So, take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Let peace and calm dominate your head, not impulse. Then, we will start to prepare these:

Step 1: Gather Evidence

If you don’t have any evidence to support your words, how are you going to make the cheating spouse confess?

No matter whether you want a confession or divorce, evidence is vital. So, the point is how do we get the evidence of his/her affairs?

We have two options for this:

  • Hire a private investigator: An PI will solve all your troubles, but the price can be pretty costly.
  • Check the phone: Cheaters will flirt through social media, messaging apps, emails, SMSs, or dating apps.

Hiring a private investigator is helpful and legit. Just pay attention that you should hire someone that’s qualified and trustworthy.

And checking your cheating partner’s phone can be pretty difficult as they will always bring the phone with them. We really don’t have time to check the whole phone and browse all the conversations for evidence. In this case, a spy app is recommended.

mSpy Cheating Exposer

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Read private messages, IMs&SMS, Social Media Apps

Find Media Library for selfies & videos as evidence

Step 2: Know What You Want

Before you say anything to your cheating husband or wife, know precisely what you want, a divorce, confession, or forgiveness.

Are you willing to forgive the cheater if he/she stops cheating? Or do you plan to have a divorce from the dirty person? It’s all up to you. But before confronting, know your target and hold it tight.

If you have no idea what you want, ask for help. Go to your friends or family members and ask for advice. Also,  a marriage counselor will help you better sort yourself out.

Step 3: Get Support

You don’t have to face this issue all by yourself. Rely on the people that you can trust and talk it over.

When the person who shares the bed with you is cheating, you will mostly get angry and biased. However, when confronting a cheater, both rage and bias are obstacles. In this case, you need some outsiders’ help. They will evaluate and judge the situations. They will help you confirm whether your proof is solid enough. They will also give you multiple thoughts on the cheater’s reaction and you can prepare for that.

Besides, if your cheating spouse ever showed a propensity for violence, you definitely need support from others. Just in case the cheater will get mad and hit you.

Talking To Friends

Step 4: Choose the Right Time and Place

When sufficient evidence and firm support are ready, the next thing you need to consider is when and where to have a showdown.

You’d better choose a time when the cheater is tired or relaxed as people are more vulnerable under such circumstances. For example, you may bring up the topic when he/she wakes up. At the moment, the cheater loses everything in their head and can hardly come up with any excuses.

Besides, do you have kids? If you do, please avoid confronting the cheater when your children are around. The horrific scene of parents arguing and yelling will sadden the young and naive mind. Never get your kids involved.

By the way, public places are not a good choice unless you catch your partner cheating with the other person in the act. Otherwise, it’s not a good option to let everybody on the street knows about this private errand.

Couple Arguing

Step 5: Evaluate Everything

Now, we come to the last step. If you think everything is ready and you have decided on the time and place, hang on for a while.

Looking back on your evidence, are they overwhelming enough? Also, you may think about the words that you’re about to say as well as your spouse’s reaction. You may do a script and do some practice.

And most importantly, prepare yourself emotionally. Do not lose your calm and dignity. Try not to yell and shout. Good luck!

How to Confront A Cheating Spouse

At the right time, in the right place, ask your partner peacefully ” can we have a conversation about your affair”. Don’t show any of the evidence first.

Let’s see if your partner will admit his/her “crime” without proof.

If you hear a denial, show him/her all the proof you collect. Your cheating partner will definitely explain with lots of excuses:

  • It’s an act of impulse;
  • “We’re just friends”;
  • “It’s just kidding, we didn’t have sex”;
  • “Because you’re being mean to me”;
  • “We get drunk”;

There’re more. No matter what the cheater says, you should always keep your position – you’re not the one who makes mistakes, he/she is. So, whatever the excuse is, never blame things on yourself. Other than that, remember and follow these rules:

Always Keep Calm and Maintain a Neutral Stance

Listen to the explanation patiently. Don’t interrupt and let the cheater finish his/her words. And no matter how infuriating the explanation is, keep calm.

This can be very hard. We don’t want to hear the nonsense and complaints of a cheater. However, it’s important for us to listen and understand every word coming out from the cheaters. This affects our later judgment: divorce or forgiveness.

mSpy Cheating Exposer

Let’s find out the ultimate secrets of our “loved” one! Sexting, flirting, cheating? All in one app!

Track Cheating Partner’s GPS Location 24/7 Remotely

Read private messages, IMs&SMS, Social Media Apps

Find Media Library for selfies & videos as evidence


A love that develops over a deep, long-lasting friendship is called Philia.

Platonic love is where both parties feel overwhelming gratitude, fondness, and interest for each other. Their relationships often grow from typical friendships and turn into deeper and stronger bonds.