Reality Check – Signs You Just Like The Idea Of Him But Not Him

By Last Updated: October 17th, 2023Categories: Relationship Counseling

Have you ever been so attracted to someone that you can’t stop thinking about them? The happiness you feel every time you are with them, and the feeling that person gives you feel like you have butterflies in your tummy. It feels so good right?

But this honeymoon phase doesn’t last for long in most relationships. After this phase, people will start to question themselves if they want to be with that particular person for the long term. Why?

Well, maybe they just liked the idea of the person and not the actual person himself. If you think this situation applies to you, you better continue reading. This article will help you access your feelings and end your confusion.

Do I Like Him or the Idea of Him? What’s the Difference

Okay, let’s get straight to the point. How do you know if you actually like that person? Because he makes you feel like a princess? Or maybe he treats you to fancy restaurants?

Well, if those are the reasons why you stay in the relationship, maybe you just like the idea of him, the feelings that he gives, and not him as a person. There are also some people who like the idea of being in a relationship, and they don’t really care who that person is.

If you truly like someone, it doesn’t matter if you date in fancy restaurants or not, or if he looks charming. All those things will be set aside and all that will matter is your feelings for him.

Do I Like Him or the Idea of Him? What’s the Difference

You will accept that man, and cherish everything about him, all his flaws and imperfections, even all the freckles on his face. You’ll understand that he has good and bad sides.

Now if you’re still confused, don’t worry we understand. Human emotions are so complex and it really takes time to understand them and confirm how we really feel. To help you out, we listed some signs to know if you just like the idea of him and not him. Read on!

The Signs that you just Like the Idea of Him and Not Him

We know you are having a hard time figuring out what you truly feel. That is why we compiled these signs to answer your million-dollar question “do I like him or the idea of him?” check them out!

1. You Can’t See Past Their Imperfections

As I’ve mentioned above, if you truly like someone you will accept him for who he is, including all his flaws and imperfections. Now, if their imperfections upset you and it’s for you to accept them then you’re probably more in love with their perfect version rather than their true self.

2. You’ve Had A Recent Breakup

This is one of the most common situations I’ve heard about. People tend to get involved with someone to help them get over their past relationships. Yep, it sounds bad but it actually happens to a lot of people. And maybe you are doing this too, but you just don’t notice it.

You’ve Had A Recent Breakup

Maybe that is the reason why you’re with that man right now, maybe he fills up the gap that your past lover failed to give. Maybe he’s just a rebound; you just like him being around so that you don’t feel the pain.

3. You Ignore The Red Flags

Truly liking someone must also mean that you also have to equally like yourself. Some people just like the idea of having a boyfriend that they ignore the red flags. Yes. Even if they see something wrong with the man, they just ignore it. What’s important is that they have someone who has good physical attributes that they can show off to their friends.

Red flags are a total deal breaker for most people. If you truly like that guy, build up the courage to confront him about his red flags and explain how it affects you and your relationship. But if it’s fine with you, then go for it. At the end of the day, the fool here is you.

4. You Enjoy The Attention

If someone likes you, they will do everything to impress you. Maybe the man beside you right now is giving you all the attention in the world and making you feel like a princess. Well, I have to say, being treated that way feels good. But girl, you are being selfish.

You Enjoy The Attention

You are just with him because you wanted to be praised and taken care of. If that’s what you want, go hire a maid. It’s unfair to the other person, and you’ll end up hurting him big time. And remember that romance doesn’t last.

5. You Like Some Of Him, But Not All Of Him

Liking someone is accepting that person as a whole, including all his flaws and imperfections (but if you see red flags, read #3 again), that’s what love is. But if you just like his prince charming side, well dear reader, this isn’t Disney.

If you are not willing to accept everything about him, then maybe you just like the idea of him and you don’t see him as your lover.

6. You Can Imagine Being With Someone Else

Do I like him or the idea of him?”

Maybe the reason why this question popped in your brain is that you are imagining yourself being with somebody else. If you truly like someone, all your attention will be on him, you will include him in your plans, and see him in your future.

You Can Imagine Being With Someone Else

If not, maybe you’re just with him because you like the attention he gives you. You just like the idea of him.

7. You Date Him Because Your Peers Say So

Sometimes, peer pressure is really bothersome. Maybe you don’t want to disappoint the people around you that is why you continue to date the person they recommended.

You Date Him Because Your Peers Say So

First of all, they don’t have any business meddling with your relationship. You are a grown woman who can make decisions, and you don’t live to please other people.

If that is the reason why you are in a relationship right now, better think things through. Your feelings must be the first thing you consider if you’re entering a relationship.

8. You Can’t Picture Him in Your Future

Like what I said on #6 if you can’t picture a future with him, then maybe it’s not love. Maybe you only like him at this moment because of the attention he gives you. Time will pass and your relationship will evolve. The honeymoon phase will end. You have to decide if that man is who you want to be with for the long term.

9. You’re Afraid Of Being Alone

The idea of having someone beside you during your toughest times is reassuring. And maybe this is the reason why you are with someone or you are entertaining a particular man. Maybe he’s a man who is always ready to cheer you up and you’re afraid that without him, you might feel miserable.

You’re Afraid Of Being Alone

This might be love, but also it may not. You have to ask yourself, are you afraid to lose him, or are you afraid of being all alone? Does his presence make you feel safe, or you just don’t want to be alone?

10. You Don’t Fully Trust Him

Love comes with trust. If you don’t fully trust the person you are with right now, then your relationship is not that serious. You have to assess his status in your life like can you trust him. Are You comfortable sharing your experiences with him?

If you don’t have such a commitment to your relationship, it just shows that you’re not serious about it. You just love being with someone and you don’t care about anything else.

What to Do if I Just Like the Idea of Him

The best thing to do is end the relationship. If you hold on too long that man will expect more from you, and if he finds out that both of you are not on the same page, you’ll end up hurting him more. But of course, you have to consider your approach. Try to calmly explain your feelings and why you want to end them.

You have to expect that he will be angry and furious and will ask a lot of questions. Try to clarify things before you leave. Don’t leave him hanging all alone.

What to Do if I Just Like the Idea of Him

And also apologize for the heartaches that you’ve caused and thank him for all the good memories.

You may also try to call some of his friends and family and explain the situation; tell them that he will need someone’s support and love while he
goes through this experience. Be respectful and understand his emotions, that is the best thing you can do for him.

Final Advice

Being romantically linked comes with a responsibility. Before entering into a relationship, it’s better that you make things clear with another party. Just so they won’t expect more from you. Always remember to be kind to people, always.

Frequently Asked Questions

Login details are private and personal to any person. Even in a relationship, you still have to maintain privacy at times. So if you have no reason to suspect your wife is cheating on Facebook, there is no need to get her login details. Nevertheless, this matter depends on your relationship set up on whether or not you both agreed to have each other’s social media account details.

Not necessarily. If the man she’s interacting with is an ex-colleague or a childhood friend, there is a good chance they are just catching up. You can ask her about it; however, if she’s keeping it a secret from you, you may need to start investigating to tell if your wife is cheating on Facebook.